Older and wiser

Every once and awhile a song will come up on my iTunes that makes me take a second and say “huh.” I don’t mean because the lyrics don’t make sense or anything like that (although that also happens), but because I had no idea what the songs were about when I first heard them. Usually the songs have to do with sex. Similarly is Dirty Dancing, I watched that movie every weekend when I was 7 or 8 and when I saw it when I was older I couldn’t believe my parents let me watch the movie at such a young age. Dirty Dancing is all about sex, y’all.

But, I kinda get what my parents were doing. I remember the first time I really realized what Ginuwine’s Pony was about. I was in the car with my dad when it came on and surprisingly the song went on for about a minute before he switched stations (usually he’d switch right away if it wasn’t Classic Rock). Once we got to the chorus he quickly changed stations and said that it’s not an appropriate song. Next time I heard it, I listened to the lyrics and got what he was talking about. So there’s a tip to you parents… don’t react and your kids won’t even know there’s something wrong with what they’re watching/listening to.

So I thought I’d share some of the songs that I heard when I was younger, that I had no idea what they were about. I’m not including Blister in the Sun, we all knew that was about masturbation. Same goes with Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, even a 5 year old knows that’s about sex.

Here you go:

Rush Rush by Paula Abdul. This is the song that came on my iTunes today that made me go hmmmm. With lyrics like “hurry, hurry lover come to me… I can feel it, I can feel you all through me” it was obvious what that was all about. I was 9 when this came out, so that’s either an excuse or I feel like I should’ve known better. I’m including the video below because you need to enjoy 90s Keanu Reeves and this Rebel Without a Cause remake.

Also, remember pre-crazy Paula Abdul!?!

After Paula comes the entire janet album by Janet Jackson.

First off, the fact that this came up when I Google image searched janet makes me lose faith in humanity and the internet:

What I mean is, this album:

This album came out and I knew it was dirty, but I didn’t know how dirty. I took a hip-hop class at the time and our teacher was one of the male dancers in the If video and he tried to teach us some moves. He suddenly left after week two, I imagine it may have had to do with some of the scandalous dance moves as well as the lyrics:

It took a few years before I realized just exactly what she was singing. The song Anytime, Anyplace (timeless, still one of my faves) was apparent even to my young mind what it was about. I used to listen to this album in my room like it was some dirty little secret, I wasn’t sure why but I knew it was “adult.”

(Please take a moment or two to watch the If video, I miss dancing in music videos so much. If there was one thing that Janet and Michael brought us it was dance sequences choreographed to a T and I will forever be grateful to them)

Looking back, janet was kinda quaint next to The Velvet Rope or All For You, where I seem to remember her faking (?) an orgasm at the end of one song.

Next up, Aaliyah’s Rock the Boat. Again, this is one I knew was about sex but wasn’t aware of how much it was about sex.

Moving on… SUMMER OF 69! I’ve made it my life mission to let everyone know that the unofficial Canadian National Anthem is about sex, Bryan Adams was 10 in 1969. Read the Wiki article, he says it’s all about the sex.

And finally, TLC’s Red Light Special. Looking at this list, I may have been sheltered. This is so obvious, but I never thought of red light as being something other than a traffic symbol. Or I think I also thought the red light special was similar to the blue light special they had at KMart.

This song is amazing and totally about sex. TLC were feminists before we knew what feminists were or how cool it was to be one (and by we I mean us youngin’s who weren’t around to usher it in the 70s). I think the best part is that I totally used to sing and gesticulate when Chilli would sing the bridge, I totally related to the line “I’m a woman, a real woman. I know just what I want, I know just who I am.” 

I was like, 12.

This is actually true of most of the TLC album Crazy Sexy Cool, which holds up btw. Also, does anyone want to do the Creep video’s pyjamas as a Halloween costume with me next year?

Looking back, we had so many feminist icons to look up to in the 90s. We had Girl Power before The Spice Girls made it a thing.

I’m sure I’m missing a bunch from this list. But share in the comments what songs you had no idea were about sex until you heard them later on. 

25

It’s been a hard week, I said to my coworkers today that I felt like I’ve just been treading water this week. I bought a bottle of wine and tonight I planned to toast to the fact there was just one last day in the workweek. Nothing could bring me out of my mood, until I got a notification from iTunes… my preorder for Adele’s 25 was ready just past 8:30pm on Thursday night.

It was important enough to Instagram

Look, I know it’s an understatement for most people but… my god… Adele is fucking amazing.

I immediately listened to the full album, putting aside the work I took home with me because this was much more important.

Upon first listen my review… it’s fucking phenomenal. I’ve missed her.

My favourite so far is When We Were Young. She released a live version earlier this week that may be better than the album version, which is a rare feat

I mean… that high note at the end… all of the feels. The line “I’m so mad I’m getting old, I’m getting reckless.” Why you mad Adele?! You’re the most talented 25 (actually 27) year old on the planet!

Damn guys, how do I get to be one-tenths as amazing and talented as Adele?

I rarely buy albums so the fact that I preordered this one and shelled out my cash instead of torrenting it speaks highly of Adele. Go buy it. You’ll cry and gasp and feel all the feelings. It will be amazing and cathartic.

And lest you think Adele is only about sappy, lost love ballads you’ll be pleasantly surprised. She still has a few ballads (some dedicated to her son, others to her man), but there’s more upbeat songs than her last album.

Just buy it. Trust me.

Have you listened yet? What’s your favourite track, do you think this album can meet the expectations that 21 set?

Sexiest Man Alive?

Last night People Magazine announced their latest Sexiest Man Alive – David Beckham.

And I totally get it, we’ve all been swooning over David Beckham for years. And like most men, he only gets better with age… I hate him (and all men) for this. He’s hot, plus he’s a fantastic father and (if you ignore the cheating rumours of the early 2000s) a great husband.

I have no arguments for the Sexiest Man Alive, but I do also wonder how he was chosen this year over previous years. This isn’t the first year we’ve known about Beckham, so why not choose someone more current? Chris Pratt was an upset last year when the other Chris was chosen over him (Hemsworth)… especially after his great summer with Guardians of the Galaxy. If I were a betting lady, I would’ve bet Pratt would’ve won this one this year. I mean, Jurassic Park! And those abs! Plus, he was Andy.

I mean….

Beckham hasn’t really been relevant this year, so huge round of applause for his PR team for scoring this one because honestly, the title is given to whomever’s publicist worked the hardest. One of the big things about being named Sexiest Man Alive is being willing to make fun of the title and playing the game. They’re not going to pick a guy who is ashamed of the title or isn’t willing to field questions about being named SMA for years to come. Perfect previous Sexiest Man is George Clooney. He is still sexy as hell, plus he plays the game and jokes about it.

You can see why he as crowned twice

Pratt totally would’ve camped it up! Whoever he’s paying for publicity should really get fired.

So there’s a few guys I would give the title to, aside from Chris Pratt, and not sure if they’d all play the game but they’re deserving of the title nonetheless. This may also be a shameless excuse to just post a lot of photos of hot guys.

Idris Elba, there’s only one black man who has been named SMA (Denzel) so isn’t it about time to have a non-white dude?

I’m really not trying to make a racial statement, but I kinda love Trevor Noah and the new Daily Show. Also, damn.

John Oliver – Those dimples. Plus he’s super smart, funny and adorable.

I almost feel like I’m adding him because I have to, but I can’t deny his beauty.

Paul Rudd, he hasn’t aged since Clueless.

I never got into Sons of Anarchy, but I’ve been appreciating Charlie Hunnam since Undeclared

How had RDJ never been Sexiest Man Alive? He seems like he’d love to play the game (I’m putting mostly for this reason)

The Rock seems like the nicest guy, I watched his MasterClass on Own this weekend and he is awesome.

Who would you add? I’m almost certain that there are some glaring omissions so please school me in the comments. 

Master of None

If you’ve been on the internet at all in the past two weeks you’ve probably read about Master of None, the newest Netflix hit that was created by Aziz Ansari. Maybe you’ve even seen it. If you haven’t you should.

Master of None is a smart and funny look at dating in your late-twenties/early thirties, but also explores race, life as a woman and relationships with parents in the ten episode first season. Each 30 minute episode is well written and acted, and speaking of actors… Aziz’s parents play his parents in the show

Not from the show, but even Bey and Jay have met Aziz’s parents

His parents are getting a lot of attention from the show, and they should because they’re awesome, particularly his dad. But one of my favourite things that has come out of this show is what he wrote on Instagram the other day about his parents (so umm… call your parents)

I’ve been a fan of Aziz since I first saw him on Parks and Recreation, if you’ve followed his career you’ll see a lot of the ideas he explores in his stand up in the show. A few of his stand up specials are also on Netflix, so check those out as well.

Finally, if you’ve read his book (or even heard of it) you’ll notice that dating in the modern world is something he explores a lot in his work. I’ve been reading this book on and off since it came out, it’s not the typical collection of short stories by a celebrity with funny excerpts of their life. Instead, it’s a book with a lot of research about how dating has changed over the years. It’s definitely not an easy read, but it is interesting

So if you’re looking for something to marathon on Netflix I’d definitely recommend Master of None, dare I say it’s probably the best new thing on the site that’s perfect for a little Netflix and Chill… even if it’s by yourself*.

*Note that I’m old and I may not have the best idea of what Netflix and Chill actually means so I may mean that in a different way than you may read it if you’re under 25.

Have you watched Master of None? What did you think? 

How to catch a bouquet at a wedding

So as I have mentioned before, my dad recently got married, and I was in the wedding party. As a wedding guest, I always like to make an effort to catch the bouquet. Not for the “getting married next” part, but for the free flowers part. Flowers are expensive! The best way to get those free flowers is to have no shame. A good way to have no shame is to be at minimum, slightly intoxicated.

So before the bouquet toss, everyone was relatively sober, and at the beginning of the wedding it was lovely. My hair was behaving and my dress looked pretty.

Proof I wasn’t a mess for the entire thing.

Later in the evening, after one or two tequila shots, I realized that I had missed the (first) tossing of the bouquet! Oh no! I love that part because it allows me to express my competitive nature in a confined setting.

So in order to assist you in catching future bouquets, I will advise you of the steps I took to be successful in catching the bouquet.

First of all this is me discussing how I missed the bouquet toss and was rather disappointed.

I convinced my dads wife that another bouquet should be tossed.

This is me getting ready to catch the bouquet. Bent knees and open arms. A clear winners stance.

This is me preventing others from moving forward into my catching zone. Notice the form. Spread out and block any others from entering.

This is me expressing how badly I want to catch the bouquet. It is a lot.

Me pointing exactly where the bouquet should be tossed. Notice my friend shielding her face from the camera. I may have embarrassed her.

The toss. A mad dash to be the winner. I assure you that no other competitors were hurt in the taking of these photos.

This is what a winner looks like friends.

Peace.

Now if you follow these steps crafted by a desperate drunk woman, you are guaranteed to embarrass yourself, and potentially catch the bouquet.

Do you like catching the bouquet at weddings? If you do, what is your technique? I always am searching for new tips.

It’s possible to be a celebrity and private

One of my many complaints about the Kardashians and other random celebrities, is they’re constantly bitching about having no privacy. This annoys me because their fame relies mainly on being photographed by the paparazzi. It’s also frustrating because, as I previously explored, they’re calling the paps most of the time.

This brings me to my favourite celebrity story ever, Sandra Bullock introducing baby Louis in People Magazine.

As that cover reads, she introduced him on the cover of People Magazine three months after adopting him. When that cover and story dropped, no one had a clue. She had adopted him in early 2010 as she was in the middle of campaigning for and winning a Golden Globe and Academy Award for The Blind Side. It was not a private time in her life, those months were filled with interviews, photo shoots and people trying to find out more about her private life. In the month and a half before the story was released, she broke up with her husband after he supposedly cheated on her. Her life was not private, but she managed to adopt and hide that baby for 3 months during that time.

That to me is why this is my favourite gossip story, it proves that if you want to keep something to yourself as a celebrity you can. This woman is arguably one of the most famous actresses on the planet. A-list and well loved and she managed to pull this off. So when some random celebrity of the moment bitches on Twitter that they can’t get a manicure without having the paparazzi photograph them, I want them to shut up. If Sandy could do this, you can pick some random nail salon and avoid calling the paps. Or tell your assistant or publicist not to call them.

And what I love even more, Sandra might be doing it again. Reports came out this past week that she’s adopted a baby girl and is waiting to reveal this again, possibly in People Magazine. The story started at Radar.com (a suspect gossip site), but shouldn’t be taken with a grain of salt. Read Lainey’s rundown on this story, it’s interesting if you’re a fan of celeb gossip.

I bring this story up because this week Carey Mulligan was out promoting her new movie Suffragette this week. Earlier this year, it was announced she was pregnant

At the Tony Awards in June

There were few photos of her pregnant as she tends to stay out of the spotlight when not promoting a project. But here’s a photo of her from this week

No longer pregnant and promoting a movie. It wasn’t until a few days later that she finally confirmed that her and Marcus Mumford had a baby girl 3 weeks ago. No name was released and no announcement made at the time of birth. Paparazzi weren’t following around to insult her weight gain or fashion choices when she was nine months pregnant.

So not only is it possible to be a successful and popular actress in Hollywood and adopt a baby, some may argue this is easier to hide without the obvious baby bump (ugh, sorry I hate that phrase), but you can also get pregnant and still live a relatively private life. Give birth and not have to tell anyone until you want to, there’s no need announce a name, give a photo or any details at all.

I urge you to think about that next time some d-list celebrity or sex tape star or “model” living off her sister’s sex tape fame bitches about privacy.

What do you think, can celebrities live a private life? Do you think that the public deserves to know about their private lives?

How to be annoying on House Hunters

So House Hunters is basically the best show ever. It has all of the drama of the Real Housewives, with none of the plastic surgery (for the most part). You get to see inside of peoples homes, how fun! And you also get to see the intimate moments of people who are about to make a major purchase. Shit gets real!

As a kid, I spent many a Sunday travelling around looking at Open Houses with my parents. I loved going into other peoples homes and picking out which bedroom would be mine, and gently suggesting which things should be changed if we ever bought it. I was like 9.

Over the years watching this amazing show, I have come up with some pet peeves. Here are a few to wet your whistle. If you have not seen House Hunters, get your butt over to HGTV and settle in. It is typically on like 6 times a day.

Crown Moulding

I get it. I like crown mouldings too! But having it as a must have for a house seems quite silly, as it is easily something that you can put in after the fact. That finishing does sure seem to blind people to other glaring inadequacies in the house!

Double Sinks

I get it. Its nice, and it looks pretty, but I don’t understand it as a deal breaker. As a teenager, my sister and I shared a bathroom, and had double sinks. I can count on my hand the number of times we were using the bathroom at the same time. When couples demand this I am confused. I am pretty sure people can simultaneously brush their teeth next to each other and spit into the sink.

3.5 Bathrooms Minimum

This is just an odd request. It came from a couple on an episode that I watched tonight. It was a couple looking for a house and the woman wanted 3.5 bathrooms minimum. I don’t even know if I could go to the bathroom enough times in a day to make that worth it! The woman also classified herself as a “stay at home mom to her dogs” so she is clearly at least slightly unstable.

Complaining about paint colour

Ok. Actually though. Its pretty darn easy to paint a wall. And cheap. Sometimes you don’t even have to buy paint!

Unrealistic expectations for the budget

I get it. Houses are expensive! Really expensive! And you want certain things. Just because you want them does not mean that you can afford them! I would really like some Prada Riding Boots, but I don’t have an extra two grand burning a hole in my pocket! Lower your expectations or raise your budget!

“Where are all of YOUR clothes going to go?”

I really hate this. It just has you playing on your own stereotypes. STOP PIGEONHOLING YOURSELF! Stop being a jerk and do what we learned in kindergarten. Share.

“Turnkey”

In my opinion, nothing is or should be “turnkey”. Any place you move should need a coat of paint, and some minor adjustments. People going into a home expecting it to be everything they want with no work is ridic. I don’t think I could find myself a “turnkey” house even if I had an unlimited budget. There would always be some things that need changing.

Man Cave

The word man cave it self makes me cringe. I feel like the dudes that use this phrase never really wanted to be married in the first place and are living out their frat boy hay day. I feel like it is totally normal to as for a T.V. room, or what have you but the “man cave” harkens back to a time of treehouse with no girls allowed signs. I can just imagine a poster of Carmen Electra and a neon Coors Light sign.

So how can you make House Hunters even more fun than it is already? Make a competition out of it. Me and my roommate started a House Hunters tally to see who can guess the right house the most times. I am currently at five and my roommate is at three. We also had to add a new section for “Idiots who chose the wrong house”. This is not for when they choose one that we didn’t expect. Thats fine! But when you are choosing a house based on how many bathrooms (4.5) and whether it has room for a swimming pool for your dog, you have picked the wrong house.

What things on House Hunters make you cringe? What other shows do you like to watch that you can make a competition out of? Let us know!

The men of Late Night Comedy

I love Comedy.

There’s really nothing more to it, I just love comedy. And I think I’ve revealed that fact here in the past when I wrote about books you should read this summer and most of the list was some of my comedy heroines. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are my absolute favourites. Amy Schumer is killing the game right now, along with Melissa McCarthy. And we can all agree the women on Saturday Night Live have been running it for years.

But that picture up there doesn’t reflect that. The picture above is from Vanity Fair’s article Why Late-Night Television is Better Than Ever.  And you know what, it very well may be. I mean, Jay Leno is no longer on late night so that right there makes it 100% better than what it was just a few years ago. But that picture just pisses me off something fierce. I’ve known for a long time now that women aren’t represented in late night, but I think it’s all these men together for the shoot just drives the point home.

And the scotch. For some reason the scotch makes me angriest. It’s like they’re this old boys club and they get together, drink their scotch and I guess the only role for women is that they did the make-up for the shoot? And steamed the suits, I assume. If it weren’t for the inclusion of Trevor Noah and Larry Wilmore I would almost confuse this shot for Mad Men.

Late Night has come quite far in the past few years, as mentioned Trevor Noah and Larry Wilmore have their own shows. For the longest time you couldn’t imagine a man of colour succeeding in Late Night (well, we’re not sure about how well Noah is doing as his show hasn’t yet started). In fact, in America they basically don’t think a man of colour could run the country despite the fact that he’s been doing it for almost a decade.

But women are still really underrepresented. In 2016 there will be shows from Chelsea Handler and Samantha Bee debuting and I’m excited, I also don’t get why they weren’t included here. Sure, their shows aren’t airing yet, but again neither is Trevor Noah’s.

I love most of these men. Seth Meyers has been a favourite from early in his SNL days, and I have such high hopes for Colbert. And I can’t even put into words my love for John Oliver, his dimples and Last Week Tonight. I’ve watched some of Trevor’s stand-up and despite some controversial tweets (that I really don’t think are a good judge of how he’ll be at The Daily Show) and misguided ideas on women in comedy, I look forward to him taking over Jon Stewarts throne.

I don’t blame these funny guys for the lack of women in late night or the struggles women still have trying to prove they can be funny too. It’s the network execs and corporations who won’t take a chance on women. But I also hate that this photo exists and while these guys don’t have much say over who gets hired, they’re also not the best at giving women jobs in comedy. Stephen Colbert, who wrote a fantastic essay for Glamour about women, still only employs two women versus his 17 men on his writing staff. And this video, an imaginary group text between the men is funny, but you can’t help but wince when Stephen Colbert asks “where the women at?” and they respond “ha” and “lol.” Maybe it’s a tongue in cheek joke that there are no women in late night, but it’s also a sad reminder of our underrepresentation.

What say you… am I overreacting or do you want more women in late night? Who would you like to see with her own talk show?

What I am excited to watch this fall

When the heavens are emptying themselves, and the trees are shedding their leaves it can only mean one thing. Fall is coming. While this means back to school, and that summer is over, it also does lead to some good things. One of our favourites is fall fashion. Who doesn’t like scarves and boots?

Another thing I love about the fall is TV. As you may have noticed, I am an avid television watcher, and have been as long as I can remember. Although it was limited in my childhood, I have rebelled and become one of the most diehard couch potatoes. So in preparation for the season of premieres I am going to run through a list of shows that I am actually excited to see and will be setting my PVR for.

I am going to list them by network, because why not? And also it makes it easier to set series recordings.

ABC

Fresh Off The Boat

Premieres Tuesday, September 22 at 8:30

Funny show, set in the 90’s with an immigrant family in Florida. Not laugh out loud hilarious, but seriously entertaining.

Grey’s Anatomy

Premieres Thursday, September 24 at 8:00

I can’t stop watching this show. I have been hooked for 10 years, and in this last season, when the sad thing happened (I refuse to spoil the show!) I cried for at least two hours. I was broken. Anyways, I will continue to watch this until the end of time. Or until it is cancelled.

Modern Family

Premieres Wednesday, September 23 at 9:00

I don’t need to say anything more about this show. Y’all know its great. I am also going to watch this until it is cancelled. Or until Sophia Vergara moves on.

Nashville

Premieres Wednesday, September 23 at 10:00

I have only recently started watching Nashville on Netflix, but to be honest, I need my Tammy Taylor fix. The show is entertaining, and it has awesome country music, which I am partial to.

New Show – Dr. Ken

Premieres Friday, October 2 at 8:30

I find Ken Jeong hilarious. Ever since his appearance in Knocked Up, I have been hooked. Especially when he was on Community. I expect that this will not be a long running show, but I will watch it while it remains on the air.

NBC

Honestly, looking through their upcoming shows I don’t see anything that I am super into. I used to be a full NBC addict, back when Parks and Recreation, The Office, 30 Rock, Parenthood and more, but there seem to be pretty slim pickings this season. I can say the only series recording I will be setting up is for SNL. Because I can’t not.

FOX

Fox is where a lot of my favourite comedies come from these days. Although the loss of The Mindy Project is difficult, I think it is time that it is taken off the air. The self deprecation of Mindy Kaling was getting too much for me. We get it, you are not a size two, but neither are most of us. The fact that you keep focusing on it takes away from the awesomeness of the show. Go ahead girl, eat that bear claw, and don’t apologize for it! That being said, I will likely download it when it comes out on Hulu. I hope that it is better!

New Girl

Premieres Midseason

I like this show. When it first came out I was less convinced, but as the seasons go on, it becomes more of itself. I love Jess, and I really love Schmidt.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Premieres Sunday, September 27 8:30

Who doesn’t like Andy Samberg? The show is smart and ridiculous at the same time.

New Show – The Grinder

Premieres Tuesday, September 29 8:30

Ever since Parks and Rec, Rob Lowe has been a different fellow. He went from being hardcore dreamboat to hilarious. His energy cannot be matched by anyone, except maybe Leslie Knope. I am excited to see him in this new show where he plays a TV lawyer who is now going to actually practice law. It has all the makings of hilarity.

CBS

The Big Bang Theory

Premieres Monday, September 21 at 8:00

I kind of wish I didn’t like this, but I do. Amy Farrah Fowler is great, and I mainly watch to see what happens with her and Sheldon.

The Good Wife

Premieres Sunday, October 4 at 9:00

If it is good enough for Hillary, it is good enough for me. I will record it, but I may just wait to catch up on Netflix. This list is getting rather daunting.

New Show: Code Black

Premieres Wednesday, September 30th at 10:00

I am a sucker for hospital dramas. The fact that I have watched Greys Anatomy for 10 years can tell you that. So when I see this new show I am excited. It looks intense, and Marcia Gay Harden is such a badass.

So it looks like my September is going to be rather full! I will likely fail on a few of these, and the list will get smaller as time goes on, but might as well aim high!

What shows do you like to watch, what are you excited to see this fall?

What to do while waiting for the next Bachelor in Paradise episodes

As previously mentioned, I wasn’t the biggest fan of The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I had watched the past two seasons and wasn’t that entertained, still I decided to give Bachelor in Paradise a chance. This decision was mainly because it’s summer and there’s not much on TV to choose from, but also because I was wooed by the previews and their promise of drama. And lets be real, the “she’s no longer a virgin and she might be pregnant” line on the commercials had me hooked.

I have a few thoughts on this season so far…

• Joe is way too stupid to pull off the lies he was trying to pull off
• Sam is the actual worst
• Couples are boring
• Ashley S is still insane

While you wait for the Sunday and Monday episode to grace your TV, I want to introduce you to two Bachelor in Paradise-related blogs to keep you entertained.

First off, Ashley I a blog!

I repeat, Ashley I has a blog.

And it’s called Duchess Kimberly. Obviously.

Here’s the thing, I wasn’t the biggest Ashely I fan. She’s full on batshit and I need her to stop crying. But her blog is endearing. Or at least entertaining. I read almost all of it. I have no shame.

Sidenote: Why Jared? Is he really that hot? Am I not seeing something that these ladies can see?

The second blog you need to read was recommended to me by Andrea. Betches Love This do a full recap of each episode that is much more compelling and hilarious than any episode could ever be. I know that probably doesn’t mean much when talking about the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise, but it’s true.

We need stuff to do this weekend, do you have any Bachelor-related blogs we need to check out?